Email #23

Dear Harriet

I am not a perfect mother.  I fail sometimes, because I am human.  I try my best to be both parents to my children but there are days when I slip up.  Today has turned into one of those days.  Im tired, I am stressed and my body is getting used to the new chemical balance in my brain from my medication which makes my own issues hard to control.

I have had a row with my son on the way home from school. Over sports day.

Because he physically cannot do what he has been asked by the house captain to do, the house captain has complained to the teacher "Sir, Edwards said he wanted to do it!" and his teacher has told him that he must or face detention, conveniently forgetting that he is a child with a SEN profile and an IEP that indicates a DLA claim.

Sounds like he goes to private school doesnt it? No.  He goes to a Catholic school- where you would expect more compassion but some days receive very little.

I have tried in vain to explain to my son how to handle this situation, but he refuses to listen.  Not out of spite, but because this is all wrapped up in denial, self worth, self esteem and self identity.  Because he doesnt want to view himself as disabled.  He would rather not attend school on sports day and face 5 hours of detentions-one for every lesson missed- that admit to a disability.

Why? Because society looks down on the disabled.  Whats worse, is that they look down with condemnation and disgust.  In most cases they look down in disbelief.

"I dont have a wheelchair do I?" Yelled my son.  No he does not.  But he is still just as disabled as the next person whether they are in a wheelchair or not.

Since when did the term "disabled" become synonymous with "wheelchair user"? Since when did the term disabled become an insult?

But it has and it hurts me as much as it sickens me.
He shouldnt feel this way.
And we shouldnt be arguing about him feeling this way.

I am taking my anger at society out at him because he is the one verbalising this.  Im trying really hard not to, but I slip because I dont want him to feel like this and I am yelling at him as much as he is yelling at me when I tell him "but you are disabled" when I am trying to give him the reasoning he must explain to his teacher.

Im trying to teach my son independence, to stand up for himself as much as I support him.  I will be emailing the school but he has to be able to articulate the problems.  He doesnt want to because he knows he will face condemnation.  He faces this every day.  And I am sick of it.  Im sick of witnessing what it does to him.  He suffers enough inner turmoil.

When is Labour going to stand up to the bullying from the right?  You say you want a fairer society for all, and yet when push comes to shove, or rather when foul insults come to shoving people out of mobility scooters, were is the condemnation of this from Labour?

Labour must listen and Labour must oppose the very rhetoric that drives this.  And that starts with opposing the cuts to welfare.  Stand up for every member of society if you truely want a fairer society for all.  Do not go silent.  Fight with us.  Fight back.  Or not only are you sentencing us to five more years of cuts, you are sentencing many to death.

Constituent, Labour Party member, Union member, sleep deprived carer, concerned citizen, self employed mother, mother of a teenager with ASD, socialist, environmentalist, Disabled Rights supporter, Jeremy Corbyn supporter, mother feeding her children with nectar points, defender of the vulnerable, advocate, logistics savant, concerned niece, grassroots activist, anti austerity campaigner, RNLI supporter, unashamed welfare state service user & social housing tenant, protester, fire brigade supporter, carers allowance claimant, less than perfect parent